Can You Mend Someone's Broken Heart?


Last week was a mother of a week. I haven't talked about it, other than with one person on G+ but I want to talk about it a little now.

I have a buddy who I consider to be one of my best friends in the world. He went through a shock last week and it sent him into a tail spin. It was something unexpected, but something everyone will experience at some point in their life.

When I see one of my friends going through a heart break, my heart shatters into pieces along with theirs. I'm sure many of you can relate. In the past, I would try whatever I could to make it all better. Of course that is impossible, but when you love someone, you have a deep need to help mend their wounds. And in the process, and not intentionally, you can cause more harm than good. It took me years to learn that lesson, but thankfully, with a lot of trial and error, I finally understood.

I watched the people fluttering around him for most of the week. Well meaning folks, who needed to make it all better. It wasn't working. He was tail-spinning while trying to put up a brave front and I could tell he was ready to implode. It was Friday night and more relatives and friends were due to drop in on him throughout the weekend so I had an idea.

Early Saturday morning, I drove over and knocked. He answered the door. He was dressed already but obviously hadn't slept much. I told him I was kidnapping him for the weekend. He protested but I talked him into it and we left for a day of hiking and I thought, maybe some talking. We found ourselves by one of the waterfalls in Yellowstone and sat down to look at it for a bit. And we didn't talk at all. Not a word. For two hours we sat, and watched the waterfall. It was peaceful, comforting and renewing, and there were no words spoken at all. It was the closest I've ever felt to him and it was beautiful.

After about two hours, he stretched and turned to me and said, "thank you." Not a casual thank you, but a deep and heart felt thank you with relief in his voice. There was also a smile I hadn't seen in over a week. I said, "you're welcome, buddy," but what I really wanted to say, was thank you to him. Thank you for letting me help you through some of the pain without uttering any words or giving any advice at all. Just two friends in each others company, and that was all he needed.

So, if it feels like your butterflies have died, don't be afraid to tell a friend or loved one that all you need is for them to sit silently with you for awhile until the butterflies come back again. It might take awhile, but the butterflies will come back.

© 2014 Peter Noah Thomas ~ All Rights Reserved

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